“Quit Acting All Emo”

Guy’s don’t cry. Period. That’s the common belief held by many people. It’s been firmly ingrained into our subconcious for centuries now, and this simple ideal isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. To alot of people, this simple fact is not even debatable. Real men don’t cry… at all. Next subect.

You might be familair with James Lipton, host of Inside the Actor’s Studio. I never liked liked him, until I saw him on an episode of the Ali G Show. As you probably know, Sacha Baron Cohen, who was the star of the Ali G Show, would have interviews with various people, famous and non-famous, and would use various tactics in order to expose the interviewee’s true personality. Oftentimes, this causes the interviewee to come across in an incredibly bad way, but James Lipton was one of the few who came across as charming, and when Cohen made fun of Lipton for admitting to crying during movies, Lipton was very unashamed of this fact. It was at that moment that I found respect for him.

It takes a lot of confidence for a man to admit that he cries during a movie. He must be very comfortable with himself to admit such a thing, because the moment that he does, he will come under attack by many other people who will try to hurt his manliness or whatever. They will attack his masculinity, and most likely call him names and make him the subject of ridicule. Never mind the fact that having the courage to admit such a thing is a very brave thing to do, the “manly” thing to do is to suppress your emotions and pretend that you don’t have them, until one day, they will actually be gone. Only on that day, when you have become a mindless zombie, can you truly be labeled a “man”.

What Movies Make Me Cry?

Personally, I’m not a pushover. My buttons can’t be pushed by a filmmaker who wants their audience to cry on command. I have been known to shed tears during certain movies, but I admit that my emotions work differently than a lot of peoples’. For example, the one movie that almost always gets to me is Lady & The Tramp, which I consider to be one of the greatest films in history, animated or not. The movie has a strong plot, with collaborating subplots that all build towards the powerful climax. I don’t want to spoil it for you if you haven’t seen it, but I will say that Walt Disney made that movie for adults, moreso than children, and there are some powerful themes in that movie.

Another example of movie that can make me cry is “The Empire Strikes Back”. I know it sounds weird, but the romantic subplot between Han Solo and Leia gets to me. He’s in love with her, and she’s in love with him, but doesn’t want to admit it to him. She does things like avoid being alone with him, being hostile towards him, and even kissing Luke in order to make him jealous. He spends the entirety of the movie trying to wear her down, and finally, when he’s about to be frozen in carbonite and possibly killed, she realizes that she should have been more open with her feelings and now it might be too late. That’s when she yells out “I love you!” and Han replies with the classic line “I know”. I don’t know what it is about that story that gets to me, but it just does.

Gotta Protect Our Egos…

I’ve known guys who can’t watch movies like The Shawshank Redemption, or The Notebook without crying. I’ve had movie from time to time, and there are just certain movies that other guys are hesitant to watch. My suspicion is that these types of guys are just reluctant to show any kind of emotion in front of others. They probably weep like little girls when they watch these movies at home. I have men in my family who have been overseas in miltary action and have killed other men during the course of war. These are men that you would never accuse of being wimps, but have been known to cry during certain movies.

I think that more guys should find peace with shedding a few tears during movies. It is healthy to feel emotions, and likewise, it is unhealthy to stifle them. Our gender roles of having men as the hunter-gatherers and women at home to nurture the children are finally being realized as unnecessary in this day and age. We, as a species have evolved past these silly boundaries, and much like how the twentieth century saw the emergence of women’s liberation, the twenty-first century will likely see the emergence of men’s liberation. However, men must be liberated from a different type of mindset than what women had to work for. Men must be liberated from the ideal that they should never show or feel emotion.

Let’s Not Act Like Sissies Either!

On the other hand, gender roles exist for a reason, and you can’t expect our many years of evolutionary history to disappear overnight. Just because I’m advocating that men should check their egos and masculinity at the door doesn’t mean that I think men should start blubbering like baby puppies on a daily basis. There is SOME wisdom in the advice that “grown men don’t cry”. Like it or not, women will usually not be attracted to a man who is overly emotional, and doesn’t know how to “be a man”, for lack of a better phrase. I don’t know if this is right or wrong, but it is bluntly, the way of the world. Anyone who would tell you differently is either delusional or single.

With that said, it is only human to feel emotions, and I dare say that those who don’t feel emotions are simply not human. And those who make an effort to not feel emotions are denying themselves of what makes us human. Emotions are what seperates us from machines. We were put on this planet to have emotions. All of the petty name calling and ridicule of those who are open with their emotions needs to come to a stop. Men who are comfortable with their emotions are the wave of the future, and if you are unable to do so, then you will become obsolete, and passed by evolution.